You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
