there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Bring me that man meat
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
