He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize