i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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