problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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