HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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