they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Randomize
