I looked at my own cervix.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
