Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize