Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
