If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Congratulations! We have a period
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