Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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