it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
