i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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