I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
