The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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