well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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