Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
