garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
3 2 1 whiskey
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
