haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
