Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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