he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I lost the right to judge tonight
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
