The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
