He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Randomize
