I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
