I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Randomize
