Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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