There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
420 ftw
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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