Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
