I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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