I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
