i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
