I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
