You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
