Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
