God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
is wine microwaveable?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
