and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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