I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
