im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
