does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
