how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
