i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize