Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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