i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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