its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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