Whod you bang
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize