Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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