Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
