I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
pop tarts are not kleenex
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
