the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Randomize
