Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
