I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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