I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
