I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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