Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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