Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
