I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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