His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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