Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
